Sunday, October 30, 2011

Burning Ache

April 2012...

I will board a plane to the country of Guatemala to love, serve, and learn from the beautiful people of Buena Vista. I simply cannot explain my excitement to go. Our church, particularly our student ministry, has been involved with serving a community in Guatemala for over two years now. Much to my disappointment, this will be my first trip over there. However, God has a route for all of us and this is my time to go.

The ministry there consist of a few branches: 1) building homes for the poor, 2) loving on the people through physical means such as a simple hug, a basket of food, or purchasing a horse for a family's business and 3) a brand new boys sports academy where the purpose is to teach boys what it is to be a godly and educated man, so that the long battle of poverty both physically and spiritually may be defeated in this upcoming generation! Praise God!

I want more. More in the depths of my spirit. I'm stuck in a rut. A rut of American routine. More specifically beyond the typical do good American Christian routine. I feel like a hamster.... peddling my way through the boring 8-5 weekly routine begging for just one more extra hour to both find time away to be still and undistracted with Him and also to go, go serve and love.

Frustrated. I'm frustrated with wanting to get out and find, do, go and be more. Its like the routine is a monster that gobbles you down and you cannot seem to find your grip to climb out of his rotten, slimy gut.

Oh how I eagerly await April 2012. Yet, I have this awkward patience...(I say awkward because I'm not very patient and also I have such a deep desire to go)....awkward patience at the moment as 5 months span between now and then. Because not only am I eagerly aware and expecting that God is and will do great things there...I feel and know He will and has to do some things in me before. What that may be I don't know. Simply growing my heart for this people and spending time with Him about these people may be it, or it may be much more. Only He knows.

I'm reading a book entitled "Kisses from Katie". Its a beautiful story told of a young lady all of 22 years of age who left home at the age of 18 for Uganda. She now calls Uganda home where she is raising her 14 adopted children and running a large full time nonprofit ministry that reaches hundreds of children!

A running theme in her book is an ache. An ache to love and serve those less fortunate. And ache to love her 14 girls. And ache for the people and their well being. An ache to humbly do as her God has called her. She has such a discontent with her former American life and ways of abundance. She has such a bold and eager faith, its truly encouraging and only intensifies the ache in my own heart for more.

I do know that this ache of more, is more of God and His plan. Details. Oh yes, those who know me all know that I like details. However, I don't know what the details of this more includes or where obtaining this more may lead me....but its not here in my little room or even at my favorite little table at Starbucks....hence my current daily patterns.

And why do I mention Guatemala amidst me wanting more, no I'm not saying I'm going to go on a mission trip and never come home...well unless that's where He leads me. (Calm down Mom, just saying I'll go where He leads :)). First, its been a burning desire to go there and serve for two years now...I can't wait to meet so many people I already know by name from stories, pictures and videos shared by friends who have already gone! Second, I am fully aware of the joy and blessings one receives when serving our God outside of our daily routines and I'm busting at the seams to get out! Third, its my only clear detail/vision of escaping this daily routine I'm in and I can't get it off my mind or heart! So lets go!

So this blog may seem a bit jumbled and incomplete...that's just where I am now amidst my burdens, heart and burning ache.

And very soon I will blog more about my upcoming trip to Guatemala as I desire your prayers greatly and if you feel led your support financially as I seek to raise the funds require to go.

to be continued...

I cannot wait to meet the famlies and children of Buena Vista, Guatemala!